This is my 100th post on this blog. When I began, I didn't really think I'd keep up with it this far. But it really has helped me to be able to put things down in writing, instead of having them rattling around in my brain. And I think it's helped a few people understand me-us better, as well. In my first post, I said, "Blogging my experience may help me sort through things in my own mind. And just maybe it will help someone else. Maybe it will be of interest to someone who is discovering that they are multi, or that someone they care about is. Or it may be of academic interest to someone." Mostly, it's met the first goal.
It's been written almost entirely my voice, although Lynn has chimed in from time to time, and Sam spoke up once or twice. I can hear Sam's influence in my writing, sometimes, even if she's not speaking. I've written anywhere from only one to over twenty posts in a given month (this is my 23rd post this month). The biggest topics (from my wordcloud - over 20 tags), have been multiplicity, my point of view, and things I've read by other multiples. Other big commonalities, with at least seven posts tagged, have been comparisons between personalities, kink/BDSM, parenting, polyamory, preaching, relationships with others, my boyfriend/dom, Kiara, and observations by Lynn.
I've had a couple-dozen comments on nineteen of those posts, about half of those being my own comments. I have 10 posted followers, but I know there are several more as well. At first I only gave the link out to people that specifically asked for it that I trusted with these writings. But later I posted the link within my writing on the kink site so that anyone who was reading up on my multiplicity could come here and learn more, if they were interested enough to click a few links.
I've grown a lot in the last 100 posts, which took about one year and two weeks. I've found/added/grown two new alters, and been getting to know them. I've developed a lot more control over who's switching when, and how well I communicate that to others who might be around. I've also been able to become a lot more open about my multiplicity to others, and found a lot of acceptance from them. I came out about being kinky, poly, and multiple to my sister and my daughter - and both are supportive and accepting.
Where do I want to be in another year, another 100 posts? I suspect the 200 posts will get here well before 2 years, if my recent posting rate is to be used as an indicator. I'd like still better understanding of my alters. I'd really like to see some of them write some posts. Maybe some poetry - Sam has some gift for it. Rubi does as well, though hers has a more driving beat, and even in writing seems to be blood-splattered. I would love to have more readers, and comments from them on my posts - pertinent helpful comments. I have a hope of someday hearing that my blog has been of help to another multiple.
Fears - I worry about adding more alters. How many are in there to come out at some point? I thought I heard a new voice yesterday. I thought, "Oh please not now," and heard a response that seemed to be, "okay, I can wait." So I don't think I'm finished counting. Do I want some integration? Sam could so easily join in with Me, or with Rubi. Could Paul fit back into Cherish, or with Kiara? Would they want to? I don't think they do. Is Silent One needed any longer - maybe it could fade away?
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