My Wimpy Trauma [Me]

Sometimes I feel guilty. Especially when I read other multiples' accounts of the trauma that split them. I read horrible accounts of ritual abuse over years, heartbreaking stories of constant gang-bang rapes, unbelievable tales of children prostituted and abused and neglected. Going through things like that, no wonder these folks have developed multiple personalities. The only way to stay sane is to fracture, to intentionally become insane so that a piece can survive.

Poor me, all I dealt with was an abusive marriage. I was fifteen years old before I even heard my parents raise their voices to one another. Before I was fifteen, the only time my parents struck me were for spankings or once when my mom slapped me because I was lying to her face. So my husband yelled at me, hit me, choked me, tried to run over me with a car. Is that all? Poor whiny me. In the grand scheme of things, it just wasn't all that bad. Sometimes I want to apologize to other multis for even sharing multiplicity with them.

Granted, there was more to it than that - I wrote about it in an earlier journal. But really, my story was bad, but not horrific like that of some other multiples. I wonder if that's why I seem to have fewer alters, and we're more co-conscious and able to work together more easily than it seems most multiples experience. I've joked before that have DID-Light, the mild version. Just enough to be entertaining...