My Jealousy Broke Again... [Me]

I recognize that in certain situations I'm 'supposed' to be struggling with my jealousy over my boyfriend. After all, I'm sharing him with another woman. I should be unhappy when he's with her and not me, and I need to compete with her to make sure that I get a better share of him than she does... Right? That's what Society tells me. Well, I think my jealousy circuit is broken.

It's Valentine's Day today. At three in the afternoon, I don't know if I'm going to see my boyfriend tonight or not. But I'm okay either way. I had a fantastic time with him last night. At one point, we had tried planning tonight. I suggested she have it; I'm not that big on holidays. But she then insisted we all be together. Now it sounds like she's been fussing at him about wanting him to herself tonight. Fine with me; I'm annoyed with the flip-flopping back and forth, but once I know I'm either seeing him or not, I'm fine either way.

Part of sharing a household with another woman means we both give up a little time with him. Part of being in a relationship with him means that when it's important to me, I will get his full attention. So will she, when it's important to her. Fair enough. I mean, a mom with two kids doesn't hover over each of them all the time; she meets each one's needs and does some special things with each one, and does some things with them both. It should work the same for having two girlfriends, shouldn't it.?

I have found that the only time I really feel jealousy kinds of feelings is when someone I want to be with is having a good time and I'm stuck at home not having any kind of fun. The answer to that isn't to ruin their good time; it's to create my own good time. If the boyfriend is with her, and I'm with other friends, then we're all having fun. If I'm sitting home moping, then that's my problem, not his. I shouldn't be moping. As long as it's not a last minute change to take away from me and give to someone else too often.

The only thing that's bothering me is that I have Valentine's gifts for him and for her, and would like to deliver them tonight.