Oh, That Explains It [Me]

I've been meaning to tell you that I read your blog in its entirety. I am proud of you that you have figured out a way to really learn to live with something that would have other people completely like "waaaaaat!" In some ways, it is unsurprising, like, it makes sense. I can't put my finger on an exact time that this happened but there were times even way back in the day that I wondered if you could possibly be the same person.

I recently got this in a facebook message from someone that I worked with over ten years ago. And the part that gets me the most? "It makes sense." Another past coworker, when I told her, said, "Oh, that explains some things." And my daughter, when I told her, immediately pointed out a time when Rubi had been out around her.

This both comforts me and concerns me when it happens. Comfort, because it means I'm not making this all up. Yes, I still feel sometimes that I'm just pretending to have multiple personalities; it's not real. Maybe I'm just seeking attention, trying to make something about me special. And then I switch and there is no doubt in my mind that I am no longer in control. But to see that other people have seen it, even before I was doing it 'on purpose', reassures me.

Concern, because if I've been that 'off' all my adult life, why did it take me until my mid-thirties to realize it? How could I get this far while being that crazy? And have 'I' done things while someone else was fronting that I'm not aware of? I pride myself in the level of my self-introspection. I would say that I know myself(myselves) very, very well. But maybe I'm wrong on that, if I don't realize when and where a personality has 'slipped' out in the past.

There are no answers to either the concern or the comfort; they are just there. But I'm so terribly glad that I can be out to everyone (except at work or with my parents) without feeling condemned or unwanted. Thank you, my friends.

Picture Collage [Me]

It's finally ready, and I am so excited about it. At my collaring, early in the evening, we took a series of photos where the Boss pulled each alter out one at a time, and the photographer got several shots of each, wearing black against a black background - she called them 'floating head' shots. For three months, these and many other photos have been in editing, and now they are ready. Here is a shot of the folks in my head:

Yes, there are nine of us there, each in turn. Gracelyn Rose is not there, as she had not presented at that point. And the shot of Silent One is taken from a still photo that was blurred. We couldn't exactly make it come out for photos - at the time that would have meant taking pictures of a catatonic body; not very exciting. But the blurred photo was exactly what I wanted to represent it. So here we are, this is us.

Lynn calm & relaxed.         Kiara happy & excited.               Paul looking concerned.

Cherish relaxed & patient.  Me in the center, of course.         Jarett watching everything.

Rubi smirking & vicious.     Silent One a blur, not quite real.   Sam ready to tease & play.

You can click the picture to bring it up larger to view.

Tender but Healing [Me]

Last night, the Boss told me I seemed... calm. Content, pleased, serene. Not tense and sad, as I've been for the last couple of weeks. And he is right. I seem to be 'over it'. Not that I no longer care about the things which have been hurting me, but just that I have found a peace about them. I'm okay. I find this is a normal cycle for me. It goes along with the Depression Cycle that I recognize in myself, but doesn't go as deep, because there's a recognizable cause and effect involved.

Stage One - When I hurt over something (and that's almost always someone), I hurt intensely. I wallow in the feeling, getting all the suffering out of it and into my system. I dredge up every little pain and examine it, making sure I feel all the pain it has to give me. At this point, I need to cry; I need to be furious; I need to feel it all the way.

Stage Two - I let the pain sit and process. I'm quiet and sad about it for a while, and have a sense of the inescapable nature of pain in life. Nothing is going to help me get through this process, I just have to suffer lightly for awhile. I feel like there's no way to avoid it, and the world is never going to have light in it again. But I know I will feel better if I can just wait it out. There's no way to help me at this point - it just has to process. Sympathy and touch remind me that it will get better.

And then I need a catharsis point. Something to hit the reset button. Often, that's a heavy beating, something to make me scream and cry - one that takes a few days to heal from. The ongoing pain annoys me, distracts me from whatever was making me hurt. The catharsis can also be some other change of pace - getting out of town, a project that suddenly comes up and take all my attention, just something that kicks me out of my rut for a few days and keeps me from focusing on whatever I'm upset about. Last weekend, I got a heavy beating that left scabbing on my back, made it tender and achy and itchy all week.

Then I rebound. I feel better, cleaner, ready to move on. And I'm there now. I miss the Bear, and seeing him as a friend will still be awkward for a while. I love him, and not being his makes me sad, wistful. But I know I'll be okay at this point. I can get on with things. The scabs are falling off my back, and it's only a little tender now. My back, and my soul.

Saw a Bear [Me]

I saw the Bear last night. Not as in 'spent some time with'; just that we both went to a party for a mutual friend. There were lots of mutual friends there. It was awkward, as I expected. And the merry-go-round spun a few times unexpectedly. But it was okay, and that was enough. I always make a round of the room hugging all my friends, and I did give him the awkward squeeze-your-shoulder-while-you're-sitting-down hug. He didn't rise for a real hug, but he didn't push me off, either.

I was distracted for the rest of the party. Several people asked if I was okay, and grudgingly accepted my answer that I was well enough. One person straight up asked, "Are you okay with him here?" And honestly, that helped, just to know that someone saw my pain, recognized it, and named it. I didn't stay late, and I didn't make any advances to him.

When I got home, I was down. Not tearing-up-paper and crying down, just being a little quiet kind of down. I'm still processing it a little, but I'll be okay.

I want to pour my heart out on paper, tell him why I quit him and how I feel about it. But I can't tell if that's a fair thing to do to him. I'm guessing my quitting him hurt; he doesn't actually indicate any feelings at all. But then again, that's been part of the problem.

Do We Look Queer To You? [Me]

I've been thinking a lot lately about sexual identity. As a whole, rather than as an individual. If we're having a conversation, and you ask my orientation, well, I'm a straight female. Absolutely heterosexual, and no doubt female, despite my tomboyish tendencies.

But I'm not the only one in here, and as much as various alters are getting 'face time' these days, it's time to consider 'our' orientation as opposed to 'my' orientation. Cherish certainly shares my straight orientation, in fact holds it to a further extreme, with many overtones of the Gorean subculture.

Sam and Rubi are definitely female, and they both seem to have a clear preference for men in play and in sex, but I get the sense that it's not as defined a preference. The only stopping point being that we like having a penis involved in our sex, so we want a man in our bed. But there are plenty of sexual activities we like that don't have to involve a penis, or where a manufactured one would work well enough. So I guess they would qualify as 'heteroflexible'.

The Boss has a female alter, which matches nicely with my male alter, Jarett. He will only participate in sexual activity with the Boss if he is certain she is out; he wants nothing to do with any male alters in that realm. So the penis is pointing the wrong way, but it works out for them. But Kiara also sometimes shows a preference for his female alter, though she's also happy with his primary 'face', too. Mostly she just wants attention from her adult, and she gets it. But though I haven't had the opportunity to test it, I suspect she would somewhat prefer female partners.

My other male alter, Paul, only wants that kind of attention from a male, however. He's only starting to admit it, but the rest of us are certain, that the boy is gay. Silent One doesn't seem to register gender, nor have one of its own. Lynn and Gracelyn have both stated that they have no interest in sex on their own. Lynn because she would rather remain impartial, and Gracelyn because she has objections to the messiness and violence of the activity.

So here's what we've got:
2 heterosexual females
2 heteroflexible females
1 bisexual female
1 heterosexual male
1 homosexual male
2 nonsexual females
1 non-gender-differentiating

Confusing enough there. So I looked up 'queer' on my friend the wikipedia.

The range of what "queer" includes varies. In addition to referring to LGBT-identifying people, it can also encompass: pansexual, pomosexual, intersexual, genderqueer, asexual and autosexual people, and even gender normative heterosexuals whose sexual orientations or activities place them outside the heterosexual-defined mainstream, e.g., BDSM practitioners, or polyamorous persons.

Well, that certainly seems to fit. Starting with the BDSM and polyamory, I've been queer all along! So we're going to use the term Queer to refer to our orientation as a system for now, even if not for me as an individual.

Riding the Merry-Go-Round [Me]

I'd like to introduce a term that's been flying around our household a lot - 

Riding the Merry-Go-Round.

With three multiples in one household, sometimes it gets pretty hectic trying to figure out who's out in which body. It's like throwing a bunch of kids on a merry-go-round and spinning it really fast. Then, when it stops, they all get off and run in different directions. You don't know who's going to get off facing you - that kid you like or the one you hate, or that other one that just showed up and nobody knows.

We have periods of time like that. Sometimes one alter will take the front and remain there, very stable, for hours. But sometimes we'll switch again and again and again. Those are the merry-go-round times. And it's pretty confusing for the outside person to keep up. Sometimes it's hard for the inside folks to keep up, too.

The Boss has been having a lot of merry-go-round times lately. Lots of stress, and dealing with my stuff and our girlfriend's health. You know, life. But the thing about merry-go-rounds is that if you fight it, you'll get dizzy and vomit everywhere. But if you can make yourself relax and go along with it, you can learn to really enjoy the ride.

Round and round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows...

It's Alive [Me]

I mentioned before that Silent One is now sometimes active, and now I'm ready to elaborate. I've only written about Silent One once before, about three stages in it's existence. We're still in Stage Three - Exploration, but I think we can consider also being at a Stage Four - Full Existence as an Alter.

There seem to be two 'modes' of Silent One. The inactive, catatonic reaction to extreme situations is a mental escape. It's also an outcome from breathplay and being taken to the point of losing consciousness, but stopping just shy of it. In this state, I am somewhat aware of stimulus input, but it's very muted, and I/we can't react unless it's extremely negatively painful. However, as we come out of this state, the stimuli that was, to all appearances, ignored, compounds. The body will twitch, small twitches at first, building to whole body convulsions if something doesn't distract us.

The second, and newer mode of Silent One is an active one. When Silent One is active, I have some limited 'view' of its mind, but not nearly as clear as what I can 'see' with most of the other alters. Silent One is definitely animal, not human, and I feel a clear lack of gender definition. It doesn't think in words, only reactions and needs. It sniffs and licks things to find out about them. It will use teeth before hands, and then doesn't use the fingers at all. We thought at one point that it could be hard of hearing; I think maybe it just doesn't process the sound well - it will listen to the Boss talking by pressing its ear against his chest instead of listening at his mouth. And nothing he says registers as words - the tone is what it responds to. Its vision is very blurry, and better suited to the dark. 

Luckily, this active mode of Silent One seems to be pretty fond of the Boss. It has come out voluntarily a few times recently - usually when we are starting to fall asleep, and the control over who's in front is weakened. Or it will come out when an alter in front leaves and no one has stepped up to take their place yet. Just after orgasm is a 'weak moment' where it can come out easily. It usually starts by being very still and soaking up information about where we are. I will feel my hands close into an approximation of paws, and our breathing will deepen and be focused in the back of our throat. If the Boss is nearby, it will nuzzle him or sniff and lick at his skin. If he's careful, he can pet on it and interact. If he's not careful, it will pull away from him or nip at him.

Things we have learned.... Silent One does not like to be restrained in any manner. Although holding my wrists comforts most of us, it panics if held still. It doesn't like to expose its belly, but will snuggle up to the Boss laying on its side. If he growls or makes clicking noises at it, it will pay some attention. And although I haven't heard them, he's heard it make some noises - whines and growls and such. It likes for him to scratch at its back or rub my head. But if he moves suddenly or tries to force it to move, it will bite at him - something I know he hates.

My Friendship Expiration Date [Me]

I've discovered that I/we have about a two-year cap on relationships. My first marriage, abuse and all, lasted half that. My second husband left about 10 days after we hit the two-year mark. I've had several other relationships that ended somewhere around that point, too.

And now I've ended things with the Bear. Technically, we made two years last November, and we're just now officially ending. But then again, I've seen him very little in the last half-year. It pretty much ended at about two years.

The only relationships I've had that have remained strong for more than two years have been with my mother and my daughter. My best friend and I have been friends for over 25 years, but we only seem to remain close for a couple of years at any given time. Then we drift apart for a year or two, and later start hanging out again more. We're about due to get friendly soon.

I have had theatre pals that I've been friends with for more than two years at a time, but theatre friendships have their own rhythm. During a show, you see each other every night and you are all each others' best friends. Then you might go six months or more and barely speak, until you're cast in a show together again. It's kind of like school friends or coworkers - you become friends because you're always around each other. But as soon as you're apart, you never really see each other again, despite your best intentions to do so.

So I've warned the Boss about this two-year expiration point that my friendship seems to have. He appears to be amused at the idea, and not take it seriously. But this is one of my personal superstitions, built over time. One of these days, he wants to permanently mark me as his. You know when I'm thinking is a good time for that? After we've passed two years.

Breakup Reactions [Me]

With the breakup (see my last post), there has been some fallout. The decision was made and communicated on Monday night. I wasn't surprised when there was no reaction from the system on Monday night. We didn't know how he would respond to my telling him we're done. And we needed that before we could take the next step. Tuesday morning he sent a (very) brief note that basically said 'okay, if that's what you want'. Tuesday during the day, actually, was fine. Because the only one of that's out at work is me. And although I wish I hadn't felt like I had to end things, it was the right decision. And because it's been coming for so long, I don't really have a big reaction to it. It's not because the end of the relationship isn't important to me; it very much is. But I've been reacting; for several months.

However, the rest of the system had simply put the relationship 'on hold'. They are used to putting things on hold - for instance, when I'm at work. I could tell when the information got disseminated on Tuesday afternoon, though. As I was pulling out of the parking lot from work, tears started welling up in my eyes. There wasn't any emotion attached to them - at least not from me. And it got really loud in my head for a few minutes, which means I started feeling some leaked emotions. Not a comfortable thing. So I asked for help. I asked Sam to just take over for a few hours and get some errands done that had to be completed before I had time to fall apart. Because it was obvious there was going to be some falling apart.

And here's where being a multiple comes in really handy. Sam came out and functioned like a relatively normal, not-too-unhappy, functioning person. In fact, she was really productive and successful. No emotional breakdowns. After all, for her he was just an occasional playmate, who usually rocketed straight to Rubi and didn't entertain her long at all. So Sam was the only one really functioning for several hours. Thank you, Sam.

When we got home... honestly I don't remember getting home. The next thing I remember is watching my bedroom door open, and the Boss coming in, to see Kiara sitting on the floor with torn bits of paper all over the place. Someone had apparently started packing up everything that made us think about the Bear, and she had started ripping up a storybook about a bear. She was crying and snotty and needed hugging. And of course she got it. She was in and out for the rest of the evening, very sniffly and quiet and sad. It's terrible to see such a normally happy child so reserved. But she needed to process the pain and confusion of losing a relationship. Cherish was also in and out all evening, mostly as a balance to Kiara's emotion. She cleaned up the mess the kid made and put away all the offending belongings.

So the next reaction I'm waiting for is Rubi. The Bear has, in many ways, been Rubi's particular partner over and above anyone else. He played us at a level only she can take, of all of us. And he relished dragging her pain out of her until she couldn't fight him any more. She's had a few small reactions - handled with lots of sex and a little self-sacrifice by the Boss. But she hasn't been fully out, and I know there's going to be more, and I'm kind of worried that it hasn't hit yet. I've scheduled a session with someone that Rubi's played with before, tomorrow night. I'm hoping it gives her some catharsis. We need someone to hurt her before she hurts someone.

Breakup with The Bear [Me]

Okay, it's time to write, even though I really don't feel like it. But avoiding blogging has helped me clear a lot of stuff off my to-do list, so it's not all bad. My system's had a pretty heavy shock this week, and I'm avoiding dealing with the emotions involved.

I've ended things with the Bear, my sadist and sometime-dominant. We played together for about two years, but life has interfered to the point that we rarely get together at all. Add to that, he's now involved with a friend of mine, and doesn't seem to be able to be that close to both of us. I knew he is monogamously inclined, as he knew I am not.  But whereas I have no trouble having a play relationship with him and a romantic one elsewhere, he doesn't seem to be able to split the two.  And so, he has all but ignored my existence for several months, except when I've broken down and had a fit about it. And I fear that, should he give me a reasonable amount of attention, she won't be getting enough. He just isn't wired that way.

Unfortunately, I did see this coming; I even posted about it. But I have a bad habit of letting negative things drag out, hoping they will get better. This situation isn't getting any better, and I've been eating myself up inside over it for months. And the Boss has made me put an end to it. This week, he talked to me about it, and denied me permission to go to a party at the Bear's house. A party to which I would have gone, then come home miserable because I had been ignored again. Further, he said it was time to make the decision to end things and quit putting it off. And he was right. And I did. I wrote the Bear an email breaking things off definitively rather than just letting them fizzle out.

This is how the dominant/submissive relationship is supposed to play out. He didn't just decide on a whim that I should do something, and order it done. He isn't forcing me to change things in my life for his amusement. Instead, he's looking out for my well-being, and pushing me to make solid the decision I've been holding onto for way too long. He's helping me do what's right for me. That's what a dom is supposed to do. Now, because he does that, yes, sometimes he gets to make me do things for his own convenience or amusement. But those aren't the important interactions; ones like this one are the important ones.

Hanging With The Kiddo [Me]

Yesterday, I had some dental work done, with all the associated financial, physical, and emotional pain and mix-up that goes with that. But my after-dental care was a little different than usual. You see, my daughter is home from college. She's nineteen, and I came out to her last fall about being multiple. She's had a few brief glimpses of Kiara and Cherish in the past, but has never actually knowingly interacted with anyone other than her Mom. But since she was going to drive me home from the dentist, I warned her that she was likely to see some other alter out that afternoon, probably Kiara.

So we got home from the dentist and got settled in. We decided to curl up on the bed and watch a movie, so the kid was moving around setting that up when Kiara came out. The kid had just gone into the other room, and when she came back, she immediately said, "Hi Kiara." Just like they were good friends or something. It was wonderful to see.

You see, I expected that her recognition of an alter would go one of two ways. Scenario One - she identifies me so strongly as her mother that she would be unable to see me as anyone else. Scenario Two - she knows me so well that she would immediately know when I wasn't me. And I already suspected it would be the latter. When I was first talking to her about my being a multiple, she immediately pointed out a day that I wasn't acting normally and asked if that was an alter that day. She was right; Rubi was out that day. So I wasn't surprised when she 'caught the switch' and recognized Kiara immediately. I was pleased.

And I was proud of the way she interacted with Kiara. They watched some movie and talked a lot; they colored and played with Silly Putty. And they snuggled and laughed. She's really great with kids; she'll be an excellent mother one of these days.

When You Meet a Multiple - Reaction [Me]

More reading, this time, a list of 60 rules to follow when you are learning for the first time that someone you know has multiple personalities. Many of these are obviously specific to the writer's triggers and negative experiences. I find it sad that it is so negative, and yet it doesn't surprise me at all. Many of these boil down to some blanket statements that I want to react to.

"Please don't push me to talk about my multiplicity with you, and please keep it a secret from others." Those don't really apply to me; I've been able to be very out and open about my structure, and luckily I have friends that make that a positive experience.

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid or crazy; this is my normal. I might be crazy aside from that, but so might you." I don't think any of my system is really crazy, though some of them perceive the world in a very different way than I do. But once you understand each one, it makes sense. And we are intelligent people; that's why we split instead of going crazy.

"Don't try to analyze me and tell me how I got this way, or try to 'cure' me." I know how I split, better than anyone else can.  If some analyzing needs done, I am very capable of monitoring and checking on myselves. And we don't want to integrate; we like being multiple. I've found a way that works for me; I don't need fixed.

"We come as a package, and may switch unexpectedly." I think this may be the hardest one for singletons. Included in this group of statements are warnings that we won't switch for your amusement, and sometimes you may not be talking to the person you think you are talking to. And even if you have a preferred alter to be with, you may not get that choice. Every alter is there for a reason, and is important to our system.

"Not everything that happens is because we've switched." I may lose track of a conversation with you because I'm distracted or worried or bored, not because I switched. I might be in a bad mood all by myself; it doesn't have to mean that my angry alter is out.

"Don't limit me." Just because I'm multiple doesn't mean that I'm incapable of doing x, y, or z. In fact, we're probably more capable in many situations, because we have several skill sets. Multiples are very good at multitasking; it's what we do.

"You may get what you ask for." If you ask for an opinion, or ask how I'm doing, you may get several conflicting and yet all valid answers. If you aren't prepared for that, don't ask.

"There are a few things that can make it easier for us to relate to you as a group." We may have different reactions to touch - ask first. We may interrupt things to get a thought out before switching - please be patient. If there's an important issue to be addressed, please give us a little lead time so we can discuss it internally and so the appropriate alter can talk to you about it. Don't be scared of us or patronize us. We are people; a lot of people all in one.

Who Chose This - Reaction [Me]

This is what happens when I read other multiples' blogs. I have to react to them. Here. Which is a good thing, since I haven't been blogging lately. I've been way too busy to sit down that long. And I'm fighting some depression - probably a result of being so busy and trying to get settled into the new 'way things are' now that I'm living with my boyfriend/dom/master and his other girl (I'm going to just call him Boss from here on out for simplicity's sake). I have several topics I want to write about; hopefully they are still valid when I get around to doing so.

Anyway, today we're reacting to Sunshine & Shadow's post "Who Chose This?" Go ahead and read it first - I'll wait.

So of course, I first think about my current relationship with Boss. Kiara attached to him first - he was her first crush. And remember how strong that puppy-love can be? That's the kind of love Kiara has for him. I fell in love with him after that. Cherish was created for him, and in some strange way, Paul may have been, too. And Silent One, when it is active, seems quite fond of him (more later on Silent One being active). So there's five of us that are firmly 'for' a relationship with him, come what may. And none of the others actually object to him. Rubi and Sam are fine with him as one of several playpartners they have, but I don't see that they have any special attachment to him beyond getting along with him because he's around a lot. Jarett and Lynn see him as an ally, a partner in dealing with us. And Gracelyn really has barely met him. So that's five that aren't so attached to him, but don't object to him. A fifty percent relationship rate seems pretty okay, in the world of multiples.

Thinking back on some other relationships I've had, before I realized I was multiple, I can see some likely connections. And I can understand why I can't seem to have any relationship that lasts more than a couple of years. Aside from my parents, my daughter, and my sister, two years really seems to be the cap for me. I hope that this relationship can survive that two years by a long shot. And with his parts and my parts all either for it, or at least not against it, I think we have a better chance of success.

Burqa [Me]

Last night, Cherish wore a burqa for the first time in front of her Master. We've borrowed the burqa, and the abaya to wear under it, from friends to wear to an upcoming event.

The burqa is an Islamic form of dress, basically a bag over the head with openings or mesh for vision and breathing, with loose fabric flowing down from it all the way to the ankles. The front is open a bit, so under it is worn an abaya, essentially a plain black dress that covers everything also. The burqa I've borrowed is a pretty fancy one - the eyes are covered by a fine embroidered mesh, and there's more embroidery also. The mesh over the mouth is quite a bit denser, and it's hard to breathe. The fabric is a bit noisy, which discourages movement. And the head-part is a bit tight above my ears. To see anything, the whole body has to be turned to look; there is no peripheral vision. And it's warm in there.

When I put on the burqa, I was talking to the boyfriend at the time. As soon as it was all settled, Cherish switched in - and I don't know what he saw as a change in this nearly amorphous form in front of him, but he saw the change immediately. He asked Cherish several things about the fit and how well she could see. What he could not observe was the huge smile I could feel on our face. Whenever she is out, I watch Cherish minimize the outward expression of any emotions. Her smiles are tiny and strained. Her yes and no are small nods and shakes of the head. Under the burqa, she actually had a full-out smile on our face. I could see her make an effort to nod more vigorously to answer her Master's questions, knowing that he couldn't see her face. He praised her and how nice it looked on her; that did help, of course.

So next weekend we'll be wearing the burqa in public to an event at the club. The person that loaned it to me said that she felt completely invisible the time that she wore it there, and hated it. Cherish would love to be invisible; she seems to be looking forward to it.

Time to Catch Up [Me]

So I've neglected my blog for nearly two months. It's because I've been busy, though, not because of depression or apathy or anything bad.

The last part of March, I was setting up another blog. This one is a one-time thing, really more of a picture album, with pics and commentary from my collaring. Unfortunately, it has stalled as I'm waiting for pictures to come back from the photographers/editors. You can find it here, and the username and password to get into it are both 'kinky'. It's about half-way done, and when the pictures come back I'll put them all up there. And I'm sure I'll say something about it here.

Then, Easter weekend, I went to Atlanta for Frolicon. That's the big kinky convention each year; this was my fourth year. I played and socialized and stayed up late and did all sorts of kinky stuff. I'll try to write a blog about it soon. There were some very mixed emotional parts to Frolicon for me this year.

As soon as I came back from Frolicon, we were moving. My dominant, my metamour, and I all moved into an apartment together, finally! That meant moving them out of their old apartment, and moving a lot of my stuff out of my house, all at the same time. That's almost complete, now.

But with the move, we had no internet for a couple of weeks, so the only time I could blog was at work. And I've taken a lot of time off work for Frolicon, for moving, and for dental work. So I'm just getting back on-kilter there, as well. And I've been playing merry madness to catch up all the stuff that's gotten put off during all this stuff.

So, my apologies to those who try to keep up with me. I haven't kept up on my blog reading, either, so I've got catch-up to do on my blogs that I read, too.

On the multi front, we've made a lot of progress 'taming' Silent One. It has completely emerged a few times; very interesting, a little scary. Gracelyn has fronted a few times - she despairs at my wardrobe and talks to herself. Paul's gotten some Legos and spent a lot of time out alone. Rubi has taken up topping, and is much more responsible about it than I'd expected.

Other things going on in my life - we're looking for a roommate to take my place at the house. The house needs some roof repair. I need to refinance the house. I need to write up leases for the current residents and for a new one. I need to finish the writing part of the roses blog. I have a friend that's requested a resume for me - to potentially become his boss. I need to write a whole lot here. My kid's coming home from college for a month, and we've got to pack up and store her stuff. Then I've got to store the rest of my stuff at the house - and finish moving over decorative items from the house to the apartment. I'm creating new characters for my DnD game. I'm arranging a play-reading night. I'm behind on my TV-show-watching (no internet = no Hulu). Gotta finish unpacking boxes and setting up the apartment. And, you know, life as usual.