More reading, this time, a list of 60 rules to follow when you are learning for the first time that someone you know has multiple personalities. Many of these are obviously specific to the writer's triggers and negative experiences. I find it sad that it is so negative, and yet it doesn't surprise me at all. Many of these boil down to some blanket statements that I want to react to.
"Please don't push me to talk about my multiplicity with you, and please keep it a secret from others." Those don't really apply to me; I've been able to be very out and open about my structure, and luckily I have friends that make that a positive experience.
"Don't treat me like I'm stupid or crazy; this is my normal. I might be crazy aside from that, but so might you." I don't think any of my system is really crazy, though some of them perceive the world in a very different way than I do. But once you understand each one, it makes sense. And we are intelligent people; that's why we split instead of going crazy.
"Don't try to analyze me and tell me how I got this way, or try to 'cure' me." I know how I split, better than anyone else can. If some analyzing needs done, I am very capable of monitoring and checking on myselves. And we don't want to integrate; we like being multiple. I've found a way that works for me; I don't need fixed.
"We come as a package, and may switch unexpectedly." I think this may be the hardest one for singletons. Included in this group of statements are warnings that we won't switch for your amusement, and sometimes you may not be talking to the person you think you are talking to. And even if you have a preferred alter to be with, you may not get that choice. Every alter is there for a reason, and is important to our system.
"Not everything that happens is because we've switched." I may lose track of a conversation with you because I'm distracted or worried or bored, not because I switched. I might be in a bad mood all by myself; it doesn't have to mean that my angry alter is out.
"Don't limit me." Just because I'm multiple doesn't mean that I'm incapable of doing x, y, or z. In fact, we're probably more capable in many situations, because we have several skill sets. Multiples are very good at multitasking; it's what we do.
"You may get what you ask for." If you ask for an opinion, or ask how I'm doing, you may get several conflicting and yet all valid answers. If you aren't prepared for that, don't ask.
"There are a few things that can make it easier for us to relate to you as a group." We may have different reactions to touch - ask first. We may interrupt things to get a thought out before switching - please be patient. If there's an important issue to be addressed, please give us a little lead time so we can discuss it internally and so the appropriate alter can talk to you about it. Don't be scared of us or patronize us. We are people; a lot of people all in one.
No comments:
Post a Comment