This is actually a Facebook note I wrote out almost two years ago - back when I was struggling to accept being multiple. What I wasn't struggling with, though, was my faith. If you read the post I made about IDIC not long ago, and put it together with this, you've pretty much got my personal belief system all outlined out.
From 'Potty Talk' by Trish Crist:
I don't have to figure out whether or not God exists.
I don't have to know if there IS a God, choose whether it's Buddha or Mohammed or Jesus whose teachings are a direct line to him, or worry about how religious explanations don't really mesh with science. I just have to acknowledge when good things happen and be thankful for them. I can revere spirit - and I don't mean the Holy Spirit as in One of the "Big Three," the greatest trio of all time-- I mean kindness, within others, within me. Acknowledge good things with gratitude - that's religion.
I asked for this piece from the script of Potty Talk after I saw it this weekend. It spoke to me. I mean, I am a Christian - I have decided that I believe in the Christian God - just made the decision, without force or proof, which is very hard for me. I have a relationship with God. And it's my relationship, settled between Him and me, external of anyone else's opinion or approval. But the keystone to my personal understanding of God is as described above. God is defined as Goodness and Love. My worship of God is to be good to other people - and good to myself, which can be harder. And harder still is to be thankful for goodness toward me.
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My faith never really took a particular shape until I became a parent. As a child, I accepted that there was a God because the adults in my life said He was there. I wasn't particularly afraid of Him, nor did I feel any particular love from Him. Church was a social event we attended a few times a year, usually to appease family.
When I became a parent, and as my child grew, my faith grew and developed into something that I could feel and hold and embrace. God is my Father. He loves me in the same way that I love my daughter - unconditionally, weathering all, without bounds. And I love Him in the same way that I love my parents - tenderly, seeking approval, accepting support.
When my daughter is suffering, I suffer more for her than I ever could for myself. When she is happy, it pleases me more than my own happiness could ever do. I have done everything I can to show and teach my daughter what kind of person she could be, what paths she should follow in life, and every thing she might need to learn. Sometimes, she follows where I have led her. Sometimes she forges her own path. It doesn't matter, I watch her along either path, and I'm there for her if she should stumble and fall. But I let her fall first. She has to be her own person.
When she asks me for advice, I give it. When she doesn't, I try to keep my mouth shut - but she knows the advice is there for her if she wants it. When she makes a bad decision, I could never turn away from her. Yes, there might be an 'I told you so', but there are also hugs and a shoulder to hold her tears. And if she needs help to fix her mess, I'll help her. But I won't do it for her. And when she makes the right decision, and good things happen, I rejoice for her and with her. I brag on her, for I'm so proud of the person she is. This is MY daughter.
I know I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes - some of which my daughter has learned from, some which she is bound to repeat. But I will never fail to love my daughter and treasure her. My Father God, however, is perfect - he's never made the mistakes I have. And He loves me the same way that I love my child. Sometimes I disappoint him. Sometimes I listen to his advice and knowingly choose to follow a different path. It's okay, He loves me anyway.
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