Without realizing it, I found a really ideal therapy method that works for me. From May 2005 until February 2009, I played an online role-play game set in the Star Trek universe. There I played several different characters in different game simulations - including RubIq' (Rubi), Jarett, and Ki'ira - actually she seems analogous to the Counselor, rather than to Kiara - and I played a trill character with several former personalities, Lin.
Ki'ira was my first character in the game - she was a ship's counselor, and was exploring her sexuality with another PC (character controlled by a player) over a fairly lengthy period. Given that the game is limited to PG13, the exploration was fairly light, and more about sensuality than sexuality. But it may be the first time I really stepped back to think about how a 'different me' might react to things. I think she was an outward expression of my inner Counselor, as I started examining myself and those around me as an observational exercise more than an emotional one. She met with other characters in-game and did a lot of asking them to look at themselves. I think she asked me to do the same in some ways.
Jarett was one of the last characters I played - he was very much in-charge, and quite even-tempered, except with the woman he eventually married in-game. He was a man of mystery, a ladies' man, a very James Bond like man. My inner Jarett is also very much in control. He's the responsible one, the one that pushes me to sit down and pay my bills or write an email I've been putting off. He's also just as likely to be distracted by a pretty face or curvy body as the Jarett of my game. He has very well-expressed preferences in the women he appreciates looking at. I'm a little worried what will happen when he goes to flirting with one at some point.
Next is Rubi, or RubIq'. RubIq' is a midget Klingon woman who's full of spice and fire. She's the one I could never live-play, as I'd end up in jail or the hospital. She loves to get physical, whether fighting or sexual, and she loves to drink and eat and brawl. She's mouthy and fearless, and playing her as a character was sometimes very difficult, but at the same time very easy, because the character would completely take over and write her own story, often directly opposed to what I had planned for her. Heck, she even went by the name Ruby once or twice. RubIq' is the kind of character Rubi would like to be, if there were no societal restraints on her behavior.
And the final, really relevant character I played was Lin. Maarta Lin is a joined trill - she has a symbiont living inside her that carries the memories of several other hosts. If that's not multiple personality made practical, I don't know what is. She would confer with her former host personalities frequently, very similar to the way I now confer with my alters. Oh, and she had both the Counselor aspect of Ki'ira and the commanding aspect of Jarett about her, as well. One of her former hosts was a somewhat RubIq'/Rubi-like character too - a wild child that made poor choices.
I've been away from my game-play for about five months, and it's been during that time that I've become aware of my alters and started getting to really know what's going on. Coincidence? I'm thinking not.
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It's now been about another year and a half, and I'm still getting to know my alters. The journey continues.
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