Introductions & Terms (Me)

Today I promised introductions all around. There are seven folks inside my head, and yes, I've gotten to know most of them pretty well since we first started to acknowledge each other. Just imagine living with sixth other people, all sharing a bedroom. Eating most of your meals together, spending most of your time together. Having to negotiate who's turn it is to talk and who gets to control the TV remote, work the computer, or drive the car. You really become familiar with each other. These short descriptions can't begin to really describe each of us, but they'll serve as a quick reference.

Me - I'm the core personality, the 'original', if you will. At the moment, I'm thinking I may not use my given name here, in some mild attempt to protect my privacy a little. I suspect it's a losing battle that I'll give up. But for now, I'm just Me. I'm in charge around here - usually. I have a job and a family and hobbies and interests and friends, just like everyone else.

Kiara - my inner kid, who isn't always so 'inner'. She used to be rarely out, but she's grown brave in the last few months, and now she's probably out more than anyone else. When I first 'met' her (some words just really are inadequate for this), Ki slid between 8 and 11 years of age. I don't know why those ages, but she was very insistent that she was eight, or that she was eleven. But then she tried 6, and loved it. So for now, six years old is where she seems to be staying. She loves to have people read her stories and pet on her, and she loves coloring and shopping.

Sam - the bratty part of me. I'm pretty sarcastic and likely to tease; Sam takes it to a higher level. She's the primary sexual persona, as well. She's even more of a masochist than I am, and an attention hog as well - she will poke, prod, and pinch until she gets the attention she craves. She laughs a lot, and gets bored easily.

Rubi - the rebellious teen. You know that sullen emotional kid that stands in the corner and glares at the adults, just for the sin of being an adult? That's Rubi, seventeen and mad at the world. She has a lot of tendencies toward being self-destructive, or at least destructive. She takes over when the pain gets to be too much for Sam. Being depressed or angry will open the door for her to run things.

Update - Cherish - the slave personality. She came to our awareness later, in August 2011. She has trouble making choices on her own, but follows where she is led. She is at peace when submitting to her Master, but terrified if she has to deal with anyone else.

Jarett - the only male persona. He's pretty stereotypically hetero male, but a bit insecure at having the wrong equipment. It's been difficult to encourage him to take a turn being 'out', but his huge sense of responsibility for us all is usually the trigger to use. He often takes over the duties of driving for us.

Counselor - our manager (or babysitter). She is always observing us, and keeps a kind of running report in our head of events and conversations that we need to be aware of. She's there for advice, whether for one of us, or someone else. She has a very motherly personality, and likes to help things go smoothly. (Update - As of August 2011, Counselor will be using the name Lynn instead.)


Update - Paul- the boy. He came to our awareness in January 2012. He's an eleven-year-old boy with a strong memory of regular abuse. He's got some of Sam's snarkiness, but he's still young enough to need adult approval.

Silent One - This is an alter that doesn't come out except in moments of extreme trauma. In the past, when marital abuse became too much, everyone else 'checked out' and left this one to react. Reactions are minimal, usually consisting of a nearly catatonic state. It has only showed up a couple of times in the past several years.

Update - Gracelyn Rose - the lady. She came to awareness in February 2012. She is ladylike, proper, and well-behaved, and is drawn to the scent of roses.

Vocabulary List
There are some terms I'll use that may not mean quite the same thing to a singleton (that's all you non-multis out there) as they do to me. A quick list:
MPD, DID, multiplicity - Multiple Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder - the condition that makes me this way
alter, persona, personality - each of the seven alternate personalities
out, in front, on stage, driving - refers to the alter that is in control of the body and behavior at the moment
dissociation - the state of not being in control of the body, can include a lack of memory of that time
co-consciousness - Sometimes more than one alter is sharing control
shifting, switching, flipping - changing control from one alter to another. Sometimes it's a hard switch, very sudden. Other times it's a gentle shift from one to another





I'm no longer going to update the list of alters here - please see the introduction page for the list.