Multiplicity: Loss of Routine [Me]

Reading at Multiplicity again today. She has a post there about routine - my comments:
We have certain routines that are practically sacred to us, and others we can do without. When I get up in the morning, no matter who's out, we follow the same routine of bathroom and brushing teeth and dressing in the same order. These are things that I can usually do the same way even when I'm not home. It makes us very tense and twitchy when the routines are broken, though.

I think it's typical of multiples, but I'm just guessing, based on my experience. Routine is extremely important to me, for several reasons.

It's comforting because it's familiar, even when other things in the world around us may be unfamiliar and scary. Waking up in a bed that I don't remember falling asleep in can be terrifying, and it happens fairly often. But if I can get up, go to the bathroom, put in eyedrops, and brush my teeth - like I do every morning - that gives me a stretch of time to check around, find out how we got from my last memory to now. When I went out of town recently, I made sure to have deoderant, toothbrush, eyedrops, etc. all out where I could follow the same routine in the morning getting ready that I do at home. And it helped.

It's a way of establishing control in a world I don't control all that well. Even little things, like the order in which I put on my clothes, reassures me that I can impose my will on how things are getting done. I might not be able to control who does what during the day sometimes, but I can control this right now.

It helps confirm that things get done when it's not always the same person doing it. It doesn't matter who performs the routine, but as long as it all gets finished, we're okay. Kiara might choose a different toothpaste than, say, Lynn. But either way, teeth get brushed. And so on.

I bring up brushing teeth because, right now, it's not getting done in the proper order every day. The sink at my boyfriend's house gets clogged up sometimes, and if it has water sitting, I've skipped brushing my teeth. And that makes me grumpy for a few minutes. I mean, I can brush when I get to work or something, but just having that change to my routine sets off a negative reaction. Because I'm a grown-up, and I'm aware of it, I can deal with it, of course. But it is a little unsettling. And that bit of discontent is enough to remind me just how important my routines are to me.

Like when I come into my house. I need to come in, set things down, let the dog out, put awy the things I carried in, and then use the bathroom. I really need to do these things before I do anything else. Sometimes there's someone there wanting my attention, to ask me a question or something, before I get all that done. And I know I'm very grumpy with them and not very helpful. I'm especially a terror when someone starts talking to me before I even have the door all the way open. For people likely to be at my house when I'm coming home, I try to explain to them that I need those few minutes to establish myself in my house before I'm going to be at all easy to get along with. Sometimes they remember, sometimes not.