It seems like the holidays are always hard on everyone. And this year has been no exception. I somehow didn't expect it to be a problem for us, but I was wrong. Granted, it wasn't that bad, and I've recovered, but it was a problem. By the way, I'm going to reference that map I made previously of our inner space - here's a link: http://pinterest.com/pin/94083079685212707/. I'm going to reference that space as if it's physical and real, because that's how I experienced it this weekend.
As I mentioned in the last post, my parent were down for the weekend, and when they're around, I generally 'shut down' the multiple part of my thoughts and go singleton for that time. I don't switch around them at all. This time, we had an exception to that. My daughter gave me an awesome gift that brought Kiara catapulting out to squeal with joy. And then we quickly shuffled her back inside to bounce around a bit before they noticed.
I'm wondering if that fast push to get her out of the way may have caused the problem. We rarely shove each other out of the front room; we try to be cooperative about it. But with the parents around, it's like the lights in all the rooms except the front have been turned off. Everyone's been tiptoeing around in the dark being quiet so that I can stay in front. But when we yanked Kiara back to the back, it's like that door got shut and locked. For the next couple of days, it was just me - all was quiet.
Then my parents left, and I thought we'd start switching around like we normally do. And... nothing. I stayed out. Several situations came up that would normally cause a switch. And... nothing. The door was locked, and I didn't have a key. And the quiet up front was beginning to depress me. I worked more on finding pictures for our pinboards, hoping that it would encourage someone to take over to work on their own board, but it didn't happen.
Well, of course other people around me also had reactions to the holidays. The bad moods went all around the house, and then everyone was struggling to fake being cheerful, and that eventually came crashing down, as that sort of thing often does. Remember how I said that Silent One could go through the wall into the front room? It doesn't need to use the door. And when everything crashed, Silent One took over. I found myself on the other side of the door, too, locked inside. I knew the body was safe; Silent One manifests as a state of low consciousness, almost catatonic. And the boyfriend would see that it was taken care of.
Being locked inside gave me an opportunity to go around and turn all the lights back on. Kiara and I walked around, turning on lights and touching things. She's very tactile, so she has to touch everything before it seems real to her. We touched everything and turned on all the lights, and knocked on all the doors to let everyone know the coast was clear. This was nice for me, as I rarely get to leave the front few rooms. So I got a bit of a tour. But we were still locked out of the front room.
Apparently, Cherish has a key, or something. Our boyfriend was beginning to worry about the body, since it was still semi-catatonic. And because she can't stand to see him worry, she simply walked in front and took over from Silent One. She's shown this ability to quietly switch in before, but I was surprised at how strong it was, yet subtle - didn't even create a headache. And once she had done so, the rest of us could go in and out as normal. Everything is unlocked and the lights are on.
No comments:
Post a Comment