Unfinished Pouting [Me]

I need to write; I know I do. But I'm having trouble putting any thoughts into a concrete form, so this may come out a bit scattered.

Kiara's upset. She cried last night, and pulled away from everyone. Then she locked the rest of us out and sat in the 'front' moping and angry, but still unable to do anything to deal with the hurting. She said she wanted to feel her feelings outside, not go to her room inside and feel them there. Okay, granted. But then she was also angry knowing that when she unlocked everything, we'd be talking about her (about us) with Boss, and she doesn't want it to be talked about (because she doesn't want to deal with it).

What's got her upset? For one thing, we saw Bear last night. And it was... awkward, stilted. We are so in love with him still. And I'm still convinced breaking off with him was the right thing to do. But it hurts to feel like it wasn't really even a big deal to him. Aside from that, she was having problems interacting with people yesterday. One of our friends was trying to be close and offer support - and it came off as looming and invading our personal space. Several other people were around that Kiara has some fondness for, and they were all busy talking and playing with other people.

Sam and Rubi aren't thrilled, either. We were on-call for work last night, so we were at a play party, but really not able to play - so they were all upset. There are a couple of people that Paul is interested in getting to know better, or has a crush on, and they were all there - and busy with other things/people. We tried to have Cherish out - she at least wouldn't be bored without someone to interact with, but with Boss busy, she was too afraid. We just couldn't get anyone out and comfortable for more than a few minutes. As soon as we got into a conversation, we'd switch, or someone would come into our circle or view and make us uncomfortable. So we drifted from one conversation to another, leaving them all half-finished behind us. And now we feel the weight of this unfinished stuff that we created and can't resolve.

So I'll let the pouting and angry run its course, and try to reconnect with those people I left things undone with. And maybe I'll say something to the looming friend; maybe they'll back off on their own when not so needy themselves. And Rubi and Sam will get to play at some point, and Cherish will get some time with her Master. Things will get better.