Coming Out [Me]

I was thinking, this weekend, about the order in which I come out to people about things. I have several things to come out about:
1. I have multiple personalities. My parents and work don't need to know this; everyone else can.
2. I am polyamorous. My parents and work do need to know this; it's obvious when I show up with two other people instead of one.
3. I am kinky. My parents wouldn't be surprised, my work wouldn't care.
4. I am genderqueer. My parents wouldn't understand the term, but they get it anyway. It's obvious when you meet me face-to-face.

My daughter and most of my friends know all these things about me. These four identities are all mixed in together, as well. Each leads to the others, and they support one another. Now, most of my friends are in the kink community; many of them are genderqueer and/or poly themselves. My daughter and I are so close, than I would hate to try and hide any of these from her. I would also probably be unsuccessful. I came out to her about kinky and poly before I came out to her about being multi, and it was a relief when I had finally done so.

But some people don't need some of this information. At work, well, they figured out I wasn't a 'regular feminine lady' when they interviewed me. I mean, honey, I have a shaved head, and wear a braided collar every day. I don't fit the gender norm. When I RSVP'd for three to the company holiday party, they had to deal with me being poly. But my kink preferences have nothing to do with work, and coming out as multiple could be, I think, a really bad idea. So that stuff stays off the clock.

My parents have always known I don't fit gender norms really well. I've been teased about being butch or a lesbian since I was a teenager - but teased kindly. And since the dates I bring home have always been male, well, obviously it's not quite that. But they accept that in me. I'm pretty sure my parents are kinky as well, but it's not something we discuss. I don't feel it's really necessary to discuss specific sexual leanings with my parents anyway. I already know that my mom has a buggy-whip and has been known to chase her husband, naked, through the house with a squirt bottle. Hey, to each their own. This weekend brought up the discussion about polyamory. There'll probably be a couple more discussions once that's settled in.

The biggest 'hide' I've got is that I don't plan to talk to my parents about me being multiple personality. I'm not worried about them failing to support me or anything; I know they would; they always have. But here's the thing: I've got things under control. Being multiple is not holding my life back or causing any great drain on my ability to function in life. So what good would their support do? It would mean that, when I visit, other alters could meet my parents and talk to them without the 'switching lockdown' I do around them. And that might be nice. But I already have limited time with my Mommy; honestly I'd rather not have to share it. More than anything else, though, it would worry them. That's the biggest effect it would have, making my parents worry about me more than they already do. And that's not a gift I want to give them. So I've decided that they don't need to know. Unless something traumatic happens and they develop a need to know, we aren't telling them that I'm multiple. Nor that Boss is multiple. It just won't help anyone for them to know.