Things are improving, though erratically. I feel like we're at least on an upward swing, finally. And by 'we', I mean the whole family, this time.
Last week I went out-of-state with MK to visit his mother. A thousand-mile trip through four states in five days. It was mostly a working vacation, as we emptied out some things he had in storage there and packed them up to bring home. But I got to spend some serious quality time with MK, something that I've felt has been lacking for a while now. We talked a lot, and I feel pretty secure in my relationship there.
I was dreading the homecoming from the trip. Boss and I had fought a lot the weekend before, when I had left. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him, either, as he left for work just minutes before I got up. Frustrating. I got a message from the Metamour during the trip that he was really flipping out and losing control, and he was finally breaking down enough to search for a therapist or a doctor or something. Unfortunately, that search is not going super-well, as the doctor of our choice is having to close up shop.
But when I got home, things were... good. He had come to some realizations. And he missed me. And I missed him. We had a good play-scene at the club, and actually talked and made up a bit. There wasn't a huge crash on Sunday, so we didn't have that usual fight. We just hung out, and I really appreciated it.
He's still searching for a doctor, but he did start on the anti-anxiety meds I'm on. And they seem to be making a difference, both for him and for me. They aren't strong, but they do seem to mellow things out a little, just enough to let me/him step back and see if it's worth being upset about.
That leaves the Metamour. She and Boss were a bit strained before I went out of state, but I think they must have talked some things out while I was gone, because they seem less stressed around each other now.
So yeah, it feels like there are some improvements in mood all around. There have been several showings of my house for sale. My daughter is coming home soon from her job - oh, and she did get to go see my Dad for a day, just before he got much worse. So that's a relief that she got to see him. I got back to work and nothing fell horribly apart while I was gone, but things were busy enough that I feel I was missed. Money is tight, but doable. I am hopeful.
I am self-diagnosed with multiple personalities. There are eight to ten of us in my head at any given time. Several of us are into the BDSM lifestyle; some of us are polyamorous. I'm also a regular person, in that I deal with the same things in life that everyone else does. However, I may deal with them in slightly different ways. Many of these posts could be triggering to some people - please read responsibly. There is a list of the alters on their own page, below.
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