Enough of the incipient redesign has come to light that we can share it. We do not have a new alter emerging; instead we will be decreasing in number. Two changes, really. First, Jarett has decided to go dormant. Not to disappear completely, but to 'close up shop' and shut down for the time being. Second, Lynn and Grace have decided to combine together as Gracelyn.
Jarett has never been comfortable being an alter. He's very male, and this body frustrates him to no end. Not just because of the sexual equipment, but other things. I'm too short, have curves and soft spots in the wrong places, hair that has to removed and hair that's missing. The muscles don't work correctly, and I even smell wrong. Everything I wear, though not truly girly, is certainly not masculine. Even when he can ignore the body issues, he's truly uncomfortable with my/our lifestyle. The kink bothers him, the poly bothers him. He hates the idea of sharing so much physically. Which has led him to withdraw more and more. The one thing he has been doing is driving. So he's been little more than a chauffeur. And that's not enough.
Lynn and Grace have also both expressed frustration with their limited scope of responsibilities within the system. Lynn has been observing, and she and I have had lots of conversation about how to keep the system in it's healthiest state. She comes out when someone needs comforting, to play Mom and say 'there, there'. But that's really about it. Grace emerged since our collaring to handle things like dressing up and makeup, and more recently, any housework we need to do. But that's still a fairly limited range of being, especially for me. She hasn't really found being part of us to be very interesting. The two of them do have a lot in common. They are the two non-sexual parts; both like to remain fully clothed and avoid sexual/romantic turns of conversation. They are both involved in organizing our life, one inside, one out. They both have slight accents, just as a side.
And so, the two ladies have decided to try joining forces. As a combined single alter, they can organize both inside and out, maintain our appearance, cook and clean, and generally be a housewife to Boss. They can also take over Jarett's driving duties, releasing him from his single responsibility. We've started the process; they are discussing which parts of each will be dominant. And we've started working on a pinboard for the two of them combined. Jarett's board will remain whole, but inactive.
We told Boss last night how the reorganization is looking. We had told him a few days back that something was imminent. And he stressed about it and asked over and over about it from one conversation to the other. We want to keep him informed so that we aren't surprising him, but we also want to wait until there's some answer to give him before we let him know there's something going on. It's a challenge to balance, one that I suspect has no winning strategy. But we gave him the outline last night, and have talked about it on and off with him since. He didn't take it well. Remember that our metamour, his other girlfriend, is also multiple. Rearranging for her has historically been very stressful and negative for him. I think his negative reaction to our rearrangement was more of a knee-jerk reaction than anything else.
But he has a female alter that has tried to be close to Jarett. And she was very understandably crushed that he was leaving. However, they really haven't interacted in weeks, perhaps months. Before that, they were trying to create some sort of relationship. But the wrongness of being both in opposite bodies was too much for Jarett. And he had trouble with her relationships with others of my alters, let alone with our metamour's alters. His discomfort just ran too deep. So I'm hoping to spend more time with her over the next days to help her deal with him leaving. I don't know what else I can do for her.
No comments:
Post a Comment