My Father is Dying [Me]

My father is dying. Not today, but soon. Well, aren't we all? But he's doing so sooner rather than later.

A few days ago, I got a call to come see him in the hospital. He has multiple tumors in his brain. They are not operable, and it's an aggressive cancer that will take him quickly, by all indications. So I've spend the last five days sitting in his hotel room. I've tried to keep up with what doctors are telling us - and not telling us. I've talked about some hard subjects with my Dad, trying to help him make the decisions he needs to make. And I've been telling him goodbye. Not necessarily by saying the word 'goodbye', but just by spending some time with him - listening, talking, reminiscing.

It's been nice, seeing my Dad, seeing his siblings. It's been hard, seeing him so easily confused, and knowing that he's got a limited amount of time left. I finally managed to cry a lot last night, and some more today. I'm sad, but I'm glad I'm getting to help out with him and to see him as well. All five of his brothers and sisters came to see him. I missed one of them, but saw the rest. And his father, who is 94 years old, was brought by, too. Even my best friend came from home to see him. So there's been a lot of visiting.

And because I'm around family, and trying to be all strong and together, I'm not switching any, either. I switched a little bit a couple of times when we weren't at the hospital, but mostly it's just me. This is my Dad, not everyone else's. It's pretty stressful on me when I'm not switching.

Boss couldn't come up; he had to work. I know he's missing me being at home a lot; and I'm missing him, too. But MK's here with me instead. He's helping a lot with the stress. He's very quietly supportive, just being nearby and keeping me company. I really appreciate him being here with me. He's helped me get to the point of crying that I needed to be at. He's not left my side, making sure that I'm okay. It helps.