I got my feelings hurt tonight. Nobody meant to, but it happened.
We went to an event tonight where it was more appropriate for me to be out front than anyone else. Those don't happen much, so I was excited. This morning, I packed clothes for us to change into after work, before the event.
So after work, I got rid of the bra and girl-shirt. I put on a compression teeshirt - no easy feat without help. Then I put on a men's tank top, and our leather vest. It takes some work to pull the compression shirt out enough to adjust all the lumps under it to look right, but I eventually got it okay. I put a do-rag on my head, because the people we were gonna see are used to M having a bald head. I wanted to look noticeably different from her. I wanted to look more masculine, too. Jeans stayed on - they're pretty ungendered, and our shoes are pretty masculine.
I was feeling pretty good about the way I look. I know I'll never really look masculine enough people will look at me and think 'boy', but I felt like I definitely looked ambiguous, where no one would point and say 'girl'.
I had some time to kill, so I went to a couple of shops. The first one was a Mens XL shop - only mens clothing. The clerk came from the back, saying, "Hello, Sir, welcome." That felt good. Then he got a couple steps closer, and said, "I'm sorry. Ma'am." He made a joke about having trouble seeing that far away. I didn't correct him, because, well, the body is, indeed, female. He spotted it. As much as I could do to look male, it only worked from a distance. It hurt my feelings. Not at him, but at my effort.
However, I went to the event, and everyone there that knew us immediately greeted me by my name, not M's. They had no doubt it was me and not her. So I got that much clear.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Mutliplicity of Me hits Facebook [Me]
I've been unhappy for a while with my production of posts on this blog. Also, I've been questioning how I've used it. It's become simply a personal blog, which reveals a lot about my kink and relationships, even my work and parenting experiences. This isn't a bad thing, but it does mean that my blog isn't really about being multiple anymore.
On the other side of the coin, I would like my blog to show experiences of being multiple, but in a way that I don't mind just anybody (read: strangers) reading and getting to know me. I don't give out this blog address to just anybody. I'm wary of my daughter reading it, and No Way does my mother need to read it. But my idea in starting it was to make it more accessible for singletons to realize what being multiple is like.
So where does that leave me? I could gut this blog, but there's a lot of Good Stuff in here. I could start a new blog. That fixes some of the issues, but not all. For instance, I feel the need to write a certain minimum amount here to make it worthwhile. And sometimes, I'd like to just throw out a sentence or two.
So I started a Facebook Page (as opposed to a personal profile). It is at https://www.facebook.com/multiplicityofme. The advantage of using a Page is that anyone can Like or Follow it from Facebook and learn a bit about us there. It's just about being multiple, not the rest of my life. I can just write a quick little update, or link to other multiple-related stuff on there. I can send my Mom to it, or anyone.
But I plan to keep this blog alive, too. Not with the little day-to-day multiplicity stuff, but where I can write bigger things, posts that may be too scary or too personal for Facebook, stuff about being kinky and poly and multi all together - you know, like I've been doing. I won't feel guilty for long breaks here, because I'll be doing smaller stuff on FB. But I can do the bigger things here I don't feel are appropriate there.
And sometimes, I might do the same thing in both places. I've already grabbed a lot of stuff from here and just copy-and-pasted there. I've also made a list of posts here that could be rewritten or something similar written as a post on FB - things that are specifically about being multiple.
So we'll see how it goes.
On the other side of the coin, I would like my blog to show experiences of being multiple, but in a way that I don't mind just anybody (read: strangers) reading and getting to know me. I don't give out this blog address to just anybody. I'm wary of my daughter reading it, and No Way does my mother need to read it. But my idea in starting it was to make it more accessible for singletons to realize what being multiple is like.
So where does that leave me? I could gut this blog, but there's a lot of Good Stuff in here. I could start a new blog. That fixes some of the issues, but not all. For instance, I feel the need to write a certain minimum amount here to make it worthwhile. And sometimes, I'd like to just throw out a sentence or two.
So I started a Facebook Page (as opposed to a personal profile). It is at https://www.facebook.com/multiplicityofme. The advantage of using a Page is that anyone can Like or Follow it from Facebook and learn a bit about us there. It's just about being multiple, not the rest of my life. I can just write a quick little update, or link to other multiple-related stuff on there. I can send my Mom to it, or anyone.
But I plan to keep this blog alive, too. Not with the little day-to-day multiplicity stuff, but where I can write bigger things, posts that may be too scary or too personal for Facebook, stuff about being kinky and poly and multi all together - you know, like I've been doing. I won't feel guilty for long breaks here, because I'll be doing smaller stuff on FB. But I can do the bigger things here I don't feel are appropriate there.
And sometimes, I might do the same thing in both places. I've already grabbed a lot of stuff from here and just copy-and-pasted there. I've also made a list of posts here that could be rewritten or something similar written as a post on FB - things that are specifically about being multiple.
So we'll see how it goes.
Monday, June 29, 2015
The Dam Has Broken [Me]
It seems the dam has broken. I wish I understood it better. But I feel like we have an improvement.
MK hasn't spoken to me or Boss since the beginning of April, except short grunts and answers to direct questions. He's stomped angrily past us whenever he's moved through the house. After several weeks of that, we dragged him into a household conversation, where he confirmed that my relationship with him is over, and indicated that he would look for a place to move out to. He's continued to be angry and cold.
Yesterday, the MK that I have always enjoyed and liked came downstairs and started showing off something he had worked on. He acted like everything was fine - and had always been fine. Now remember that he is a multiple also. His personality switches have always been longer-term than mine, lasting days of weeks instead of hours, more often than not. And here's the MK that I can deal with. But too late. I'm still angry over the last three months of ill treatment, and now I'm angry that he can just drop into acting like nothing was ever wrong. As a roommate, though, this alter is infinitely preferable, so I hope this switch lasts for a while.
It just goes to show that multiples in relationships with multiples are just as likely to bust as relationships between singletons. I think the strength of my relationship with Boss is that each of my alters has a relationship with several, if not all, of his alters. My relationship with MK and Boss's relationship with Metamour were both centered around one alter of each system, and the rest were more incidental.
Anyway, I just hope that the MK we saw yesterday stays around for a while. Maybe it's too much to hope that he'll sit down and talk to me, but at least I won't catch myself flinching when he storms by.
MK hasn't spoken to me or Boss since the beginning of April, except short grunts and answers to direct questions. He's stomped angrily past us whenever he's moved through the house. After several weeks of that, we dragged him into a household conversation, where he confirmed that my relationship with him is over, and indicated that he would look for a place to move out to. He's continued to be angry and cold.
Yesterday, the MK that I have always enjoyed and liked came downstairs and started showing off something he had worked on. He acted like everything was fine - and had always been fine. Now remember that he is a multiple also. His personality switches have always been longer-term than mine, lasting days of weeks instead of hours, more often than not. And here's the MK that I can deal with. But too late. I'm still angry over the last three months of ill treatment, and now I'm angry that he can just drop into acting like nothing was ever wrong. As a roommate, though, this alter is infinitely preferable, so I hope this switch lasts for a while.
It just goes to show that multiples in relationships with multiples are just as likely to bust as relationships between singletons. I think the strength of my relationship with Boss is that each of my alters has a relationship with several, if not all, of his alters. My relationship with MK and Boss's relationship with Metamour were both centered around one alter of each system, and the rest were more incidental.
Anyway, I just hope that the MK we saw yesterday stays around for a while. Maybe it's too much to hope that he'll sit down and talk to me, but at least I won't catch myself flinching when he storms by.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Location and Relocation [Me]
It occurred to me this week that the whole first half of this year has been, and continues to be, about residences, in some way or another. There's been a lot happen that all had to do with where people are located.
We started the year off with Boss losing his job, and finding one in Washington DC. That started off a huge mega-conversation about who was going to DC with him and who wasn't, and what we could do and should do and would do. Part of that conversation resulted in the realization that I wasn't willing to move out of state right now. Another part pointed out the fact, in stark detail, that Metamour and Boss's relationship really was over. At the time, my relationship with MK was much stronger than my relationship with Boss. And then he found and accepted a job in town, which changed the plans, but not what we had all learned.
The next big thing was selling my old house. I hadn't lived in the house for a while, but the expense of keeping it, and the mental toll it was taking on me, was a major factor. When I sold the house, I suddenly had a much better income/expense outlook. Because of that, and with Boss's new job, we were able to adjust the family money flow so that what we put into the household was a lot more fair. Both Boss and I would have more discretionary income than we had been able to have. That meant getting some savings and being a lot more financially secure, for both of us.
Selling my house also meant that my daughter came to 'couch-surf' at our house. She's living out of a suitcase, sleeping in Kiara & Paul's playroom upstairs while she saves up money and looks for an apartment. (Which means we now have five people in our house.)
Now Metamour's moving out. Honestly, that nickname isn't really an accurate name to call her anymore, since she and Boss officially called it 'Done' back in February. But I'm continuing to use it for continuity. Anyway, with the new discretionary income, Boss and I have been able to pull together some money to help her get started on her own. So she found an apartment, and she got hooked into a program that's going to help her get some job training. She moves tomorrow. It's really exciting, because it means turning the page to the next stage of life, for all of us. (And then there will be four.)
Once Metamour has an apartment, it'll be the daughter's turn to get one. It's getting to her, having all of her stuff in storage, so I expect her to be moving into a place pretty soon. (And then there will be three.)
After all that, we'll be down to Boss, myself, and MK. And it'll be time to force some sort of confrontation with him. Will he move downstairs to work on a three-person relationship? Will he move out entirely? Will he stay upstairs as 'my ex-b/f roommate'? I have no idea what's going to happen with him next.
We started the year off with Boss losing his job, and finding one in Washington DC. That started off a huge mega-conversation about who was going to DC with him and who wasn't, and what we could do and should do and would do. Part of that conversation resulted in the realization that I wasn't willing to move out of state right now. Another part pointed out the fact, in stark detail, that Metamour and Boss's relationship really was over. At the time, my relationship with MK was much stronger than my relationship with Boss. And then he found and accepted a job in town, which changed the plans, but not what we had all learned.
The next big thing was selling my old house. I hadn't lived in the house for a while, but the expense of keeping it, and the mental toll it was taking on me, was a major factor. When I sold the house, I suddenly had a much better income/expense outlook. Because of that, and with Boss's new job, we were able to adjust the family money flow so that what we put into the household was a lot more fair. Both Boss and I would have more discretionary income than we had been able to have. That meant getting some savings and being a lot more financially secure, for both of us.
Selling my house also meant that my daughter came to 'couch-surf' at our house. She's living out of a suitcase, sleeping in Kiara & Paul's playroom upstairs while she saves up money and looks for an apartment. (Which means we now have five people in our house.)
Now Metamour's moving out. Honestly, that nickname isn't really an accurate name to call her anymore, since she and Boss officially called it 'Done' back in February. But I'm continuing to use it for continuity. Anyway, with the new discretionary income, Boss and I have been able to pull together some money to help her get started on her own. So she found an apartment, and she got hooked into a program that's going to help her get some job training. She moves tomorrow. It's really exciting, because it means turning the page to the next stage of life, for all of us. (And then there will be four.)
Once Metamour has an apartment, it'll be the daughter's turn to get one. It's getting to her, having all of her stuff in storage, so I expect her to be moving into a place pretty soon. (And then there will be three.)
After all that, we'll be down to Boss, myself, and MK. And it'll be time to force some sort of confrontation with him. Will he move downstairs to work on a three-person relationship? Will he move out entirely? Will he stay upstairs as 'my ex-b/f roommate'? I have no idea what's going to happen with him next.
Incidentally, my non-bio daughter, who does not live with us, is also moving - next week. So we'll be helping her do some moving stuff too, probably. Also, the BDSM club we teach and play at has moved this year as well. Which has resulted in a fair bit of juggling schedules and addresses. Nothing major, but one more thing.
So the first half of 2015 has about location and relocation. I hope it's just the first half of the year. I'd love for the second half of the year to be a bit more stable. Maybe it could be about improving financials - paying off debts, saving money, and such. Wouldn't that be nice?
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Are Two Multiples in a Relationship Still Considered a Couple? [Me]
Metamour has found an apartment and is moving out this weekend. My daughter is starting to look pretty seriously at a couple different places. And I've definitely crossed the line to considering my relationship with MK done.
It's a weird way to end a relationship. I mean, I've gone through some relationships, so I've gone through some breakups. I've had two divorces. And I've always at least known when the end occurred. I've been dumped by text. I've come home to find he's moved out. I've even been told by the new girlfriend. But I've never had a relationship just... ignored to death.
I'm really pleased to see how little this has messed with the system in my head. Both of the kids have been out about as much as normal. Paul's recently gotten a LOT of new Legos, so he and Kiara have been building up and taking apart and sorting and storing on an almost daily basis. Kiara was out for supper last night; not for any particular reason, but just because, and she was cheerful and nice. Rubi had a scene at the club last weekend, and it went great. Sam's even poked her head out (and her tongue) a few times recently that I've been aware of.
So yeah, things are progressing. Now, after Metamour gets moved out, dealing with MK is next. The original plan is that he was going to move into her room - so that he would be more accessible and there would be more interaction between the three of us, and we could work on our relationship of three... I'm guessing that won't be happening that way. Once she's out, then I'll take him on. One thing at a time.
It's a weird way to end a relationship. I mean, I've gone through some relationships, so I've gone through some breakups. I've had two divorces. And I've always at least known when the end occurred. I've been dumped by text. I've come home to find he's moved out. I've even been told by the new girlfriend. But I've never had a relationship just... ignored to death.
I'm really pleased to see how little this has messed with the system in my head. Both of the kids have been out about as much as normal. Paul's recently gotten a LOT of new Legos, so he and Kiara have been building up and taking apart and sorting and storing on an almost daily basis. Kiara was out for supper last night; not for any particular reason, but just because, and she was cheerful and nice. Rubi had a scene at the club last weekend, and it went great. Sam's even poked her head out (and her tongue) a few times recently that I've been aware of.
So yeah, things are progressing. Now, after Metamour gets moved out, dealing with MK is next. The original plan is that he was going to move into her room - so that he would be more accessible and there would be more interaction between the three of us, and we could work on our relationship of three... I'm guessing that won't be happening that way. Once she's out, then I'll take him on. One thing at a time.
Monday, April 27, 2015
I Think It's Over? [Me]
It's pretty much been a month since MK and I have spent any kind of good time together. He has started talking to Metamour and my daughter, so I have some trickle of information. It sounds like he's mad at me for not spending enough time with him. So to punish me, he's cut me off cold and refuses to spend any time with me. Yeah, you read that right.
I'm fed up with this cold-shoulder-silent-treatment crap. That's no way for any kind of grownup to deal with another grownup. Relationships require communication, which is something he and I have always struggled with. He wants more time with me; I want him to talk to me and to be able to talk to him. I've worked hard to be patient with him through this episode, but it's been close enough to a month now. I'm done.
Heck, maybe he's already decided we've broken up. Of course, he hasn't told me this. But he has. I'm a lot closer to the Metamour than to him at this point, and most of that is bonding over her moving out! So the real question now is whether he's moving out or transitioning to 'roommate'. I've looked in his room; he's not packed anything up or anything. So I'm assuming he's now a roommate. I guess we'll see if he says anything when he pays his rent this weekend.
I was patient for a long time, trying to give him time to work through his fit. I fought off being depressed about it like I usually am. And I was unexpectedly pretty successful. I can only rip my own heart out over the same thing so many times before I stop and wait to see what happens if I don't. Apparently the silence becomes status quo. Fine. I'm done. I've gotten depressed and angry and sad. Now I'm going to push it aside and deal with the things in my life I can do something with.
On the other hand, Boss and I are doing much better. Some of that's because he doesn't have jealousy opportunities with MK. Some of it's because Metamour is actively working on moving out. A lot of it's because he's making a huge effort to be supportive and loving and playful and sweet with me.
And I'm trying to return it. I'm not good at it, turns out, but I'm trying. I am a selfish person - I tell people this and they don't believe me, but I know this is true. It's all about me. Well, isn't that true for everyone? If you pay attention to me, I pay it back. If you ignore me, I go do something else.
So here we are. In January, we were a poly-quad family. Now we're apparently a couple, with his ex-girlfriend and my newly-ex-boyfriend and my daughter all living with us. Sounds like some kind of reality show. Not a good one.
I'm fed up with this cold-shoulder-silent-treatment crap. That's no way for any kind of grownup to deal with another grownup. Relationships require communication, which is something he and I have always struggled with. He wants more time with me; I want him to talk to me and to be able to talk to him. I've worked hard to be patient with him through this episode, but it's been close enough to a month now. I'm done.
Heck, maybe he's already decided we've broken up. Of course, he hasn't told me this. But he has. I'm a lot closer to the Metamour than to him at this point, and most of that is bonding over her moving out! So the real question now is whether he's moving out or transitioning to 'roommate'. I've looked in his room; he's not packed anything up or anything. So I'm assuming he's now a roommate. I guess we'll see if he says anything when he pays his rent this weekend.
I was patient for a long time, trying to give him time to work through his fit. I fought off being depressed about it like I usually am. And I was unexpectedly pretty successful. I can only rip my own heart out over the same thing so many times before I stop and wait to see what happens if I don't. Apparently the silence becomes status quo. Fine. I'm done. I've gotten depressed and angry and sad. Now I'm going to push it aside and deal with the things in my life I can do something with.
On the other hand, Boss and I are doing much better. Some of that's because he doesn't have jealousy opportunities with MK. Some of it's because Metamour is actively working on moving out. A lot of it's because he's making a huge effort to be supportive and loving and playful and sweet with me.
And I'm trying to return it. I'm not good at it, turns out, but I'm trying. I am a selfish person - I tell people this and they don't believe me, but I know this is true. It's all about me. Well, isn't that true for everyone? If you pay attention to me, I pay it back. If you ignore me, I go do something else.
So here we are. In January, we were a poly-quad family. Now we're apparently a couple, with his ex-girlfriend and my newly-ex-boyfriend and my daughter all living with us. Sounds like some kind of reality show. Not a good one.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Focus on the Bright Side [Me]
I'm going to gripe now. Read at your own risk.
The Bad - MK's giving me the cold shoulder. He hasn't said three words at a time to me for over two weeks. Don't know why.
The Good - I've had a lot of extra 'me' time lately that normally would be spent with him, and it's been pretty pleasant, as long as I've kept my emotions in check.
The Bad - My company laid off over 20 people this morning. While the rest of those that still have a job went drinking together, I stayed at work at shut down software access for those folks.
The Good - I still have a job. And I went home early.
The Bad - My period just started.
The Good - One more confirmation I'm not pregnant.
The Bad - MK's giving me the cold shoulder. He hasn't said three words at a time to me for over two weeks. Don't know why.
The Good - I've had a lot of extra 'me' time lately that normally would be spent with him, and it's been pretty pleasant, as long as I've kept my emotions in check.
The Bad - My company laid off over 20 people this morning. While the rest of those that still have a job went drinking together, I stayed at work at shut down software access for those folks.
The Good - I still have a job. And I went home early.
The Bad - My period just started.
The Good - One more confirmation I'm not pregnant.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Status Update (Me)
Catching up again. I keep catching up so that I can then post about something I want to talk about, but I don't seem to get past the catching up. Maybe this time?
No big changes in my head. Sam and Rubi came out to play at the club this past weekend (I'm finally healthy enough to play reasonably again!), and Paul and Kiara come out from time to time, though not nearly as much as they used to. Glass is still there in the background, and that seems to be it.
The dental work is done - I had two teeth pulled, and I've recovered from that. MK has been having some dental work too, and he's about done - including two teeth pulled. Boss started his new job, and once the health benefits kick in, he can get his dental work done.
One reason that we've been able to get the dental stuff worked on is that there is more money in the household, because I SOLD THE HOUSE! After almost a year on the market, I'm no longer paying a mortgage on a house I don't live in. That's had a lot of trickle-down effects on us. First, the money to do the dental work. Second, my daughter lost her place to stay, so she's camping at our house, in Paul and Kiara's room upstairs. That could be contributing to their being out less, maybe? I don't know. Third, we've rebalanced how much money each of us is contributing to the Household pot. Which means Boss gets some fiscal relief, too.
He'll need the extra money to buy a car before long. He's driving my truck for now to the new job, which seems to be working out just fine. It does mean he leaves much earlier in the day and comes home later, and I don't get to carpool with him. That's taken away some 'together-time' that we really could use. We're still struggling to redefine our relationship without a collar involved, as well as our/the three of us relationship.
Metamour is still working on getting out. She thought she had a job, but then spent a week in the hospital and had surgery and all. She's recovering well, and should be much healthier than she has been, but the initial job is now unsuitable for her. The first goal was for her to move out by the first of April, and she hasn't, but we didn't really expect to make that goal. She is doing a lot of searching for jobs and apartments, however, and seems to be genuinely trying.
The biggest worry I have right now is MK. Boss and I are arguing a good bit, and because of that I'm focusing a lot on trying to fix some of those issues, and in the meantime I'm ignoring MK way more than is fair. However, the fights Boss and I are having are more airing of grievances between equals than they were before, and I feel like we're struggling instead of just plain failing. I'm not as depressed, just frustrated. The good side of the relationship stuff is that MK and Boss and I are all going out as a group of three more often. Usually to the movies, but that usually means a meal before or after as well. I do find that encouraging.
I think that as Metamour does eventually get moved out, and my daughter gets a place of her own, the three of us are beginning to have a chance to work. So I'm still feeling hopeful overall, even if I have moments of feeling doomed and failing.
No big changes in my head. Sam and Rubi came out to play at the club this past weekend (I'm finally healthy enough to play reasonably again!), and Paul and Kiara come out from time to time, though not nearly as much as they used to. Glass is still there in the background, and that seems to be it.
The dental work is done - I had two teeth pulled, and I've recovered from that. MK has been having some dental work too, and he's about done - including two teeth pulled. Boss started his new job, and once the health benefits kick in, he can get his dental work done.
One reason that we've been able to get the dental stuff worked on is that there is more money in the household, because I SOLD THE HOUSE! After almost a year on the market, I'm no longer paying a mortgage on a house I don't live in. That's had a lot of trickle-down effects on us. First, the money to do the dental work. Second, my daughter lost her place to stay, so she's camping at our house, in Paul and Kiara's room upstairs. That could be contributing to their being out less, maybe? I don't know. Third, we've rebalanced how much money each of us is contributing to the Household pot. Which means Boss gets some fiscal relief, too.
He'll need the extra money to buy a car before long. He's driving my truck for now to the new job, which seems to be working out just fine. It does mean he leaves much earlier in the day and comes home later, and I don't get to carpool with him. That's taken away some 'together-time' that we really could use. We're still struggling to redefine our relationship without a collar involved, as well as our/the three of us relationship.
Metamour is still working on getting out. She thought she had a job, but then spent a week in the hospital and had surgery and all. She's recovering well, and should be much healthier than she has been, but the initial job is now unsuitable for her. The first goal was for her to move out by the first of April, and she hasn't, but we didn't really expect to make that goal. She is doing a lot of searching for jobs and apartments, however, and seems to be genuinely trying.
The biggest worry I have right now is MK. Boss and I are arguing a good bit, and because of that I'm focusing a lot on trying to fix some of those issues, and in the meantime I'm ignoring MK way more than is fair. However, the fights Boss and I are having are more airing of grievances between equals than they were before, and I feel like we're struggling instead of just plain failing. I'm not as depressed, just frustrated. The good side of the relationship stuff is that MK and Boss and I are all going out as a group of three more often. Usually to the movies, but that usually means a meal before or after as well. I do find that encouraging.
I think that as Metamour does eventually get moved out, and my daughter gets a place of her own, the three of us are beginning to have a chance to work. So I'm still feeling hopeful overall, even if I have moments of feeling doomed and failing.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Resolutions, Not the New Years Kind (Me)
It's time to catch my readers up on what's going on. There are a number of situations that have impacted us lately that all seem to have been resolved or moving quickly toward a resolution. I feel like things are going to start getting better from this point on. Here's hoping.
Glass seems to be sticking around, but just in the background. Paul and Kiara have both been out a little bit lately; not back to normal, but enough that I'm not worried about them. Sam and Rubi haven't really been out, but I can hear them around inside. So we're back to six people for now.
I'm still dealing with dental work. We made two attempts at the root canal, and couldn't get it through. So we're having the tooth pulled, along with another that was slated for extraction. That'll be this Friday, and then that should be the end of things going on with my teeth, I hope.
I mentioned before that Boss lost his job about a month ago. There were a couple of jobs out of town that he was looking at; and I had already decided I wasn't willing to move out of town if he took them. So we were scared that the job thing was going to force us to break up. Well, last Friday he accepted a new job, and it's in town. So all the stress that goes with unemployment is handled. There may be a week or two break in the income stream, but we've already prepared for that.
Now, this means that Boss is going to need a car. I have a second vehicle, a truck, but my daughter has been driving it. Well, she bought a car this weekend, so we'll have the truck back. It's not a good choice for Boss to drive to/from work forever, but it'll do just fine for a while. Timing sometimes works out really well.
As part of the discussions about out-of-town jobs, MK and I talked a lot about whether he and I and Boss were a viable relationship. Even if Boss took a job in town, all of us splitting up and moving out separately was an option we were looking at. And we had to wait for a job to be picked up before we could really make any decisions. The three of us have decided to keep pushing to make things work. Knowing that we are all three committed to that really eases my mind and gives me some hope that we can succeed. I'm feeling pretty good about things in that realm now.
Part of what we have to work on is the change in my relationship with Boss. A few weeks back, just before the job loss was announced, I think, I decided I could no longer wear Boss's collar. I have tried to be his submissive, but I felt like I was failing at it all the time. I think part of that comes from losing Cherish and Stephanie, and even Gracelyn. So we are going to try being boyfriend and girlfriend (and boyfriend) instead. This is new territory for us, but hopefully this will turn into something where we all feel like we're succeeding more.
Now, I did say the three of us, and there are four people in our family. It's been decided that the Metamour will be transitioning out of our household over the next few months. That relationship has just not proved to be salvageable, so we're working on changing that. So now she's doing the job search thing, and trying to plan out what she's going to be doing instead. That has the potential to turn into a lot of stress in the household, but we're all going to help her as much as we can reasonably do so.
Oh, and I'm finally over the Yearly Ick. With all the situations beginning to resolve, the despair and hopelessness and depression is lifting. So things are looking up, and I think they'll continue to do so.
Glass seems to be sticking around, but just in the background. Paul and Kiara have both been out a little bit lately; not back to normal, but enough that I'm not worried about them. Sam and Rubi haven't really been out, but I can hear them around inside. So we're back to six people for now.
I'm still dealing with dental work. We made two attempts at the root canal, and couldn't get it through. So we're having the tooth pulled, along with another that was slated for extraction. That'll be this Friday, and then that should be the end of things going on with my teeth, I hope.
I mentioned before that Boss lost his job about a month ago. There were a couple of jobs out of town that he was looking at; and I had already decided I wasn't willing to move out of town if he took them. So we were scared that the job thing was going to force us to break up. Well, last Friday he accepted a new job, and it's in town. So all the stress that goes with unemployment is handled. There may be a week or two break in the income stream, but we've already prepared for that.
Now, this means that Boss is going to need a car. I have a second vehicle, a truck, but my daughter has been driving it. Well, she bought a car this weekend, so we'll have the truck back. It's not a good choice for Boss to drive to/from work forever, but it'll do just fine for a while. Timing sometimes works out really well.
As part of the discussions about out-of-town jobs, MK and I talked a lot about whether he and I and Boss were a viable relationship. Even if Boss took a job in town, all of us splitting up and moving out separately was an option we were looking at. And we had to wait for a job to be picked up before we could really make any decisions. The three of us have decided to keep pushing to make things work. Knowing that we are all three committed to that really eases my mind and gives me some hope that we can succeed. I'm feeling pretty good about things in that realm now.
Part of what we have to work on is the change in my relationship with Boss. A few weeks back, just before the job loss was announced, I think, I decided I could no longer wear Boss's collar. I have tried to be his submissive, but I felt like I was failing at it all the time. I think part of that comes from losing Cherish and Stephanie, and even Gracelyn. So we are going to try being boyfriend and girlfriend (and boyfriend) instead. This is new territory for us, but hopefully this will turn into something where we all feel like we're succeeding more.
Now, I did say the three of us, and there are four people in our family. It's been decided that the Metamour will be transitioning out of our household over the next few months. That relationship has just not proved to be salvageable, so we're working on changing that. So now she's doing the job search thing, and trying to plan out what she's going to be doing instead. That has the potential to turn into a lot of stress in the household, but we're all going to help her as much as we can reasonably do so.
Oh, and I'm finally over the Yearly Ick. With all the situations beginning to resolve, the despair and hopelessness and depression is lifting. So things are looking up, and I think they'll continue to do so.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Littles' Party
No more posts recently because we've been completely unhappy. Relationships are falling apart; Boss lost his job; we've all been sick; I have both a tooth extraction and a root canal coming up. I don't know what's happening or going to happen. So I'll try to write about just the multiplicity part.
Since about Christmas, I've been sick. I call it my 'Yearly Ick', because I get it around the holidays each year.When I'm sick, nobody wants to come out in the body. When I'm fighting with Boss, nobody wants to come out and be around him. So I've been very much alone in the body for weeks now. In the last week or so, I've finally started to feel healthy enough that some alters will sneak out for short bursts. I have a video game on my tablet that Paul seems to like a lot. Kiara's got new toys since Christmas, as well as a new mattress in their room upstairs. So she's been out some. Sam came out just long enough to tease MK about something - poorly, because he didn't know it was her and it was about a sensitive subject - which lead to me having to offer an apology. She really doesn't know how to interact with him well.
But last night there was a Littles' Party at the club, and Kiara was definitely excited about it. All week, she's been coming out closer and closer to the front, letting me know what she planned to wear and what she wanted to take with her. When both MK and Boss indicated they'd like to go, well... new fighting, but it was resolved. So we all went. And almost had no kids at all.
The party hostess for the night is someone that seems to really want to be bestest friends with each of my alters and each of Boss's. However, most of us really just don't like her. She tries too hard. It feels like she wants to be friends with us just to be able to say, "Well, I'm close friends with several multiples, and..." So as we came in the door, all as our primary selves, carrying bags and needing to check in, she off and greets our littles by name, Kiara and Boss's little too. Since neither of them were out, but were all excited inside because they new they were coming to a party, it was really triggery. Kiara almost refused to come out at all at that point. I knew that wouldn't last, so we just got dressed in her clothes and let her calm down. But Boss's little is pretty shy anyway, so I knew that would be bad for him. Either way, everyone managed to have a low-key good time and play some.
Since about Christmas, I've been sick. I call it my 'Yearly Ick', because I get it around the holidays each year.When I'm sick, nobody wants to come out in the body. When I'm fighting with Boss, nobody wants to come out and be around him. So I've been very much alone in the body for weeks now. In the last week or so, I've finally started to feel healthy enough that some alters will sneak out for short bursts. I have a video game on my tablet that Paul seems to like a lot. Kiara's got new toys since Christmas, as well as a new mattress in their room upstairs. So she's been out some. Sam came out just long enough to tease MK about something - poorly, because he didn't know it was her and it was about a sensitive subject - which lead to me having to offer an apology. She really doesn't know how to interact with him well.
But last night there was a Littles' Party at the club, and Kiara was definitely excited about it. All week, she's been coming out closer and closer to the front, letting me know what she planned to wear and what she wanted to take with her. When both MK and Boss indicated they'd like to go, well... new fighting, but it was resolved. So we all went. And almost had no kids at all.
The party hostess for the night is someone that seems to really want to be bestest friends with each of my alters and each of Boss's. However, most of us really just don't like her. She tries too hard. It feels like she wants to be friends with us just to be able to say, "Well, I'm close friends with several multiples, and..." So as we came in the door, all as our primary selves, carrying bags and needing to check in, she off and greets our littles by name, Kiara and Boss's little too. Since neither of them were out, but were all excited inside because they new they were coming to a party, it was really triggery. Kiara almost refused to come out at all at that point. I knew that wouldn't last, so we just got dressed in her clothes and let her calm down. But Boss's little is pretty shy anyway, so I knew that would be bad for him. Either way, everyone managed to have a low-key good time and play some.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)