RIP Dad [Me]

My father died today. We weren't all that close, but he was my Dad, and I'm pretty torn up. My alters have been great, coming out enough to help but not so much to block me away from the feelings I need to have and process. Of course my family is being very solicitous and taking care of me. My daughter came home today - I was able to tell her in person, which meant a lot to me. I don't really know what I'm feeling yet, or if I'll be fine tomorrow or crushed and worthless. So I'm working from home. But I realize I'm avoiding going to bed. In bed I can't be blogging and checking Facebook and reading stuff and playing games. And generally just distracting myself. I need to keep busy. That's how I deal with emotion. And going to bed means stopping being busy. I'm not ready. I've had a few sobbing fits today, but not enough to really purge. Because none were just me crying; there was someone else, or someones else, to be aware of. I was at work. Or I was with my daughter, who has lost her grandfather, just as I've lost my father. This is Not Fun. But I'll be okay. I'm not okay now, but I will be. I just have to get through the yucky part, whether that's a day a several weeks long. I wish I knew how long.